Sunday, April 3, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday

These are the first six sentences from my new WIP, Bunnies and Batteries. It’s a comical erotic romance. I haven’t had much time to write this week, or edit, so this is kinda choppy in my opinion. Chances are, I’ll be rewriting this beginning soon.




Grace Alderson felt like a stalker as she stood by the kitchen window looking out at the man who took her breath away. Her heart did little flutters in her chest as her eyes glanced over Mr. Sawyer, the next door neighbor, who only lived on the other side of the fence, but sometimes felt like miles away. If only he would know just how big of a crush she had on him.

Over the link metal fence, she watched as the Adonis ran his hands through a piece of wood. Her body tingled, imagining what it would feel like if he ran his hands over her body instead. Warm liquid pooled in her...
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17 comments:

  1. Talli RolandApril 3, 2011 at 5:20 AM

    Wow - that's a great start to my Sunday right there. Thanks for sharing!

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  2. UnknownApril 3, 2011 at 8:15 AM

    Aw, poor Grace. Great six!

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  3. D L JacksonApril 3, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    Who wouldn't peek out the window at the beefcake next door. Nice show.
    One question through, how does he run his hands through a piece of wood?
    What is he doing?

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  4. AnonymousApril 3, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    I agree - bit choppy but good material to work with

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  5. LiApril 3, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    pooled where? where?

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  6. Lucy FelthouseApril 3, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    A great start! Nice :)

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  7. Lorien LynApril 3, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Good start. A fun snippet. :)

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  8. lexcadeApril 3, 2011 at 3:59 PM

    Niiice. Definitely great material for rewriting :)

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  9. Marie DeesApril 3, 2011 at 6:30 PM

    Nice. but does he run his hands over the wood or through it?

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  10. J.L. CampbellApril 3, 2011 at 7:03 PM

    If Grace is having that reaction and Mr. Sawyers hasn't touched her yet...I wondered what Marie wondered too. Interesting start.

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  11. AnonymousApril 4, 2011 at 3:19 AM

    Great six.

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  12. RenaeApril 4, 2011 at 6:59 AM

    Great start! This was great!

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  13. Tony PayneApril 4, 2011 at 7:36 AM

    Forget the book, I want to see the movie :)

    Sounds good. You have a terrific writing genre there, so many posibilities to play with.

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  14. Maria ZanniniApril 4, 2011 at 7:37 AM

    Since this is going to be humorous, go for the bold.

    Grace Alderson felt like a stalker, watching the man who took her breath away...

    Then make her trip, sneeze, or step on the cat's tail. Something funny to set the tone. I love what you have here though. Great start--great title!

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  15. Ellie GarrattApril 4, 2011 at 7:43 AM

    This is great and I love Maria's suggestion. Can't wait to read more!

    Ellie Garratt

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  16. Angelina RainApril 4, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    Thank you all for the comments. I really appreciate it. Like I said, this was choppy and unedited, so thanks for the pointers on how to make this better. And Maria Z, that’s a great idea, I’ll have to incorporate that into the story.

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  17. AnonymousApril 4, 2011 at 10:04 AM

    Very nice opening line!

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