Saturday, April 16, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday

This week I haven’t had much time to write, but when I did, I wrote my erotic romance story. One of my favorite erotic clichés is the one where the hero catches the woman working on herself. So… I attempted my hand at writing that cliché in my own words.


In this scene, the hero walks in and catches the woman working on herself and although he knows he should leave, he stays.

Note that this snippet is unedited. It’s only a first draft. It’s choppy. If you have ideas on how to make this better, share please!

Anyway, so here it is:

RATED ADULT



His cock jutted and a pleasured groan escaped his mouth. He bit his bottom lip, regretting the sound that came out. Yet, he stood frozen and stared at her face as her eye lids fluttered and eyes opened. The pupils were dilated appearing a darker blue than usual. Their gazes met, locked. Her face quickly turned from pleasure, to shock, to panic, and she screamed as the orgasm rippled through her.
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5 comments:

  1. An Open BookApril 17, 2011 at 6:05 AM

    That first sentence (those 10 little words) caused me to moan too- great 6

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousApril 17, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    Wonderful! You can feel his excitement and hesitation.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousApril 17, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    she knew he was there - he groaned - she was shocked eh?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cara BristolApril 17, 2011 at 4:51 PM

    Sounds like his presence added a little spice to her encounter of the personal kind...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sandy NachlingerApril 17, 2011 at 4:56 PM

    There's nothing cliche about what you wrote. Since you asked for input, I wondered how close he was to her. Close enough to see that her eyes were dilated? Otherwise ... wow.

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