Based on the title, I know what you guys are thinking. It's something along the lines of: Oh no, are you okay? Did they break down the door or use a window? Were they caught?
Truth is the thief did not only walk in through the door, but she was invited inside. And the thief has been steeling from me for almost three years now. First it was petty stuff like pens, pencils, scissors, tape, highlighters, ect. Then it escalated to my things in particular like nail polishes, eye liners, lipsticks, nail polish remover, hairbrush, ect.
It wouldn't be such a big deal. It's just makeup that disappeared. But, when the thief is my 11 year old stepdaughter, that's where the problems arise.
My husband is convinced that if he does nothing about that she will just grow out of it. Yeah right! I know people who have sticky fingers and none of them have grown out of it! They eventually go to jail because they don't grow out of it. My husband, however, refuses to see the truth.
It's just my things that get stolen, so according to my husband it's not her whose the problem but me. Maybe I loose my things or misplace them. Every time something of mine disappears he snaps on me calling me every name in the book, and threatens me with physical harm. Then, the things that disappeared end up being found in my stepdaughter's possession.
About a month ago, my husband's ex-wife brought over some makeup that she found at her house and knew for a fact it wasn't hers. Some of it was mine. Most of it wasn't. News Flash to the husband! It's not just me she's steeling from anymore. If she's 11 and already has stolen so much, can you imagine her at 21? One of my husband's friends is convinced that she will end up in juvie if he doesn't do anything about it.
A few weeks ago, my stepdaughter was caught with a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. She cuffed herself to a chair. When asked where she got them from, she said I gave it to her. Yeah right! I don't have any handcuffs. My husband doesn't get into bondage for one thing! Two, why would I give it to her?
A few days before she was found with the handcuffs, she was hanging out at one of her friend's house. A few days after the incident, one of my husband's friends (the father of the girl my stepdaughter was hanging out with) confessed to not being able to find his pair of handcuffs, which just so happened to match the description of the ones my stepdaughter was found with.
My husband still believes that it wasn't her who stole the handcuffs. Yet, when I told him to watch out because she's not growing out of the behavior, he snapped off on me, calling me every name in the book, threatening me with bodily harm.
Sometimes, after he screams his head off at me, he will then yell at her for doing stupid things like this. He will tell her its wrong and so on so forth. She will always give him a challanging "F You, Dad" look. I really think she might be a sociopath because she never shows remorse for anything she's done. And for an 11 year old, she lies like a pro. (One time, I caught her applying my makeup which had disappeared and confronted her about it, and she still denied that she took it, even when it was in her hands.) However, soon after he yells at her and gets no response from her, he then tells her how sorry he is for yelling at her, and that he loves her so much. He reminds her that where he's concerned that she can do no wrong.
Now this weekend, I noticed I have two missing credit cards and two missing gift cards. Out of all the credit cards that I have, the stolen ones belong to a popular beauty shop and an overpriced fashion store.
As soon as I told my husband that I have some missing cards, he snapped off on me. I shouldn't even bother accusing his daughter of taking them. She wouldn't take them. Even when the logical proof is there that 1, the pretty cards were taken and not the useful ones. 2, neither one of them has been used (at first I thought one was used but it turned out to be a glitch in the computer). I think she probably took them to play with them and then misplaced them somewhere.
After my husband bit off my head and called me every name in the book (death threats followed too), he did admit that it's very possible that his daughter took it given that she's been steeling from me for three years now. Still, he made it clear that I shouldn't ever accuse her of it. She will grow out of it. She is just like any other kid and all kids are like that.
So according to my husband's ex wife, the kid's doctor has advised the mother to take her daughter to a behavioural specialist. The school has advised her to take the kid to a shrink. Is that something all parents are advised to do for their kids? I think not!
This past weekend, I stayed at my mother's because I didn't want to deal with him and his kid. When I came home last night, he and I slept in different rooms. It's the beginning of the end, it seems.
I told him that if he's not willing to do something about his anger, and taking it out on me when his daughter should be the one being yelled at, then I don't see myself staying in this marriage much longer. I guess we'll see what happens and if he even attempts to change.
So there's a thief coming to my house almost on a daily basis now that her mother lives a few blocks from us. She has stolen random things, my beauty products, other people's sex toys (aka, fuzzy handcuffs), and possibly my cards. The biggest thing she's stolen from me is my husband, the man who refuses to be a parent and discipline her for this behaviour and instead takes his anger out on me.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? And have you ever heard of a case where a child thief grew out of it?