I don't mind helping. I don't do it for money, gifts, or glory. I don't don't do it for the "thank you". I just do it because I have to. If I see someone who needs help, how could I just walk away?
When does helping someone become too much?
Recently, my family asked for help. Except, well, they didn't stop asking.
Ever since my mom divorced my dad, he had moved in with my grandma. She already was living with her youngest son. My dad and uncle hate each other. Well, my grandma used to be the ONLY person who didn't hate my uncle, but now even she sees the light. He's an overgrown child, refusing to mature even tough he's turning 40. He's a gold digger, he's spoiled, he will steal from others rather then earn something himself, ect, ect, ect.
A few weeks ago, my grandma learned that my uncle, rather then earn a living for himself, has stolen my grandma's credit information and got a couple of credit cards in her name. He hasn't paid for those cards, and now because of him, my grandma's perfect credit rating is ruined.
So, my grandma and dad decided to move away from my uncle. They need a new apartment. That's where I came in. They called me up and asked me to help them search.
I drove around, writing down phone numbers for apartments for rent. Then, they asked me to call those numbers and make those appointments. Oh, and dad has to hang out with his new friends, so I have to take my grandma to those apartments (she doesn't drive). So, I did just that. I made appointments for my days and times off. I got my grandma to those apartments. None of them fit her and dad's needs. That one's too close to an expressway, that one is not close enough. That one's too big and that one's too small. That one's too pricey and that one's too cheap.
On top of that, dad decided that if I'm willing to help with this then I should be willing to help him with other things. So, he asked me to loan him some money (I refused as I don't have any), then he asked a several other things. I started to realize that he can't do anything for himself.
For two weeks I didn't have a life of my own. I would come home from work and have to call a gazillion numbers, set up appointments, take grandma there. I've probably seen every single apartment for rent in the Chicagoland area. None of them were good enough.
I finally found a great apartment for them. . . They don't like the street it's one, it's too quiet. Seriously? I had enough. I blew up at them and told them I was done being their personal apartment finder.
Funny how people still end up falling on their feet, just like cats. Within a day of me saying I'm done helping them they managed to find a place for themselves. Although this apartment is too close to an expressway, and it a bit too small, and too pricey, and has dark kitchen cabinets (another thing they complained about in other apartments) this way was good enough.
When do you stop helping someone and let them find their own way?