Every year, with a month left until my next birthday I get really depressed. I remember being in high school and turning sixteen. While everyone else was happy at that age, I was sad. I felt like I haven't accomplished anything in my sixteen years and had just wanted to stop the clock and have more time to do something I would be proud of.
This year is no exception! I'm starting to agonize over everything I haven't done. With each passing year, the regrets of what I should have done but didn't keep piling higher.
On August 4th, I'll be turning 27 and I have no career (just a dead end job), no money, no spouse or children, not even my own home (thanks to the divorce). While most people my age are starting to get married for the first time, I have a failed marriage and a divorce under my belt.
In an attempt to make myself feel better, I started comparing myself to other people my age (and older then me) who haven't accomplished anything either. Instead of feeling better though, I become furious with those people. How can they let every good chance pass them by and not change their lives for the better? How can those people be content with living like scum and not even attempt to see that the grass is greener on the other side?
I can't wait for this stupid birthday to come and go just so I could put it behind me and start to feel normal again.
What makes you depressed? How do you deal with it?
You sound like my hubby when he was young. He got over being depressed about his age when he hit 35. I don't know why--but I'm glad.
ReplyDelete27 is a drop in the bucket, hon. I've reinvented myself a half dozen times and each time I've turned out better than before. You are never too old to reach for the brass ring. Trust me on this.
I'd have to say the best way I deal with a depressing situation is chocolate, some friends and some dancing. Oh, and a nice bottle of wine. Then I shake it off because I still have to go to my job, work with those around me, ride the crazy roads home and give my daughter a big hug.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has a different path - that's what I tell myself. When that fails, I drink wine.
ReplyDelete