Do you doubt yourself? I know I do. I always think I'm not good enough, I'm not this or that, and I tend to let my own insecurities get in the way. Although, I have to admit that I've been really good at staying positive, sometimes I still slip into one of those bad moments. So the other day, I went into a self pity zone (probably fueled by all those allergy meds that make me a bit crazy). I looked at my writing and thought to myself 'I'm not that good'. Yes, I can whip out a sexy shorty with drop your panties smexiness in it, but can I write anything thrilling, mysterious, and thought provoking, with characters that feel like real people? Probably not.
As I was evaluating myself as an author, I remembered that almost ten years ago, before I ever even considered becoming a published author, I have written two novels and posted them online under a different pen name. Those stories have always been in the back of my mind, and one of these days I will rewrite and publish them. However, this time, I went to the site where the stories are posted and browsed through some of the reviews there. Needless to say, after I read comments like the ones below, I started to feel much better about myself as an author. Here are what a few of them had to say:
"I definitely enjoy your writing. And I'd like to thank you very much for writing this and giving me a chance to become acquainted with it." - Reviewer #1
"Well a damn good story that's for sure! I really should be in bed sleeping, but I had to finish reading this story first." - Reviewer #2
"Oh wow. This story is amazing. I love the law aspect to it as well. But seriously just... wow....(spoiler deleted).... God, that is seriously just insanely... wow. Haha. Stunned me. I feel like everyone in this fic was too goddamned smart for me. Usually I have the chance to figure things out as clues are dropped but it seemed like Ginger and Lucas and everyone else just always detected the lies straight away, looking into things that I didn't even realize needed looking into.
This fic though... wow, I really love it. I know I keep saying that and I probably sound like a ditz for doing so but seriously I am just... awed (: Plus, the chemistry between Lucas & Ginger is great :D
I love this I love this I love this. I wish there were more incredible fics out there like this. It really made me think - which is nice because as much as I love those all-out high school romance cliches, even I have to .
You're an excellent writer and I will definitely check out more of your works, especially if you slipped a little of Lucas & Ginger into one of your stories (: I could never mind a little more of them... or a lot more of them :D Haha. Keep up the great work! You must be insanely smart to even think of all this. This story is freaking brilliant." - Reviewer #3
"I can only imagine how much time, talent and passion it took you to write this story. Its like a great mystery novel with romance in it too. There are some stories you read and you think to yourself 'I should be reading this story out of a book I paid for, than on the internet for free'. Yours is defiantly one of those stories.
In my opinion your a good author if you can turn a cliché into your own by putting a different spin on the story, but Brilliant authors with loads of talent can come up with a totally unique plot. You are one of those authors.
Your characterization is also very good, you built up Lucas and Ginger's characters, by expressing there emotions brilliantly and portraying their love for each other.
Thanks for writing a great ending and never disappointing me with your brilliant piece of writing." - Reviewer #4
"Wow, I just read this story and I love it. I'm amazed that you managed to write such a story within a year -well done! " - Reviewer #5
Okay, so those are just five of the 100+ reviews that story got. Not all were as expressive (most just said 'Good') and not all were great. However, after reading those comments, I asked myself the same question I started out with: Can I write anything thrilling, mysterious, and thought provoking, with characters that feel like real people?
My new answer: Yes, yes I can.
Truth be told. That story from where these reviews came from has always held a special place in my heart. It's the first thing I have EVER written. (poems not included) Now, I'm more motivated then ever to rewrite this story and share it with the world. :-)